Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Wierdness That Is My Life With Three Boys

I've been the mom of boys for 10 years now. I still don't "get" little boy parts and why they are so unpredictable. I still don't get a lot of things about boys in general but I am getting used to it (and loving it!). Bringing my first born son home from the hospital, I was more than a little freaked about taking care of his little boy parts that were still sore from his circumcision. By the time the other two came along, they had an easier procedure and it was simpler to take care of. Aiming at the toilet???? What's the big deal??? My husband obviously doesn't take my side on this issue. Seriously, the kids are short and much closer to the toilet, really, how hard could it be?? Apparently, it's hard.

Take these examples.
1. I take Aiden to school last wednesday afternoon. When we get there, he has to go potty so I take him to go before I head out. Somehow he missed the toilet and got some on his underwear, while keeping his pants dry mind you. He tells me we need to go home and get dry underwear. For the love of Pete child, how could you not aim at the child sized toilet?? I know "school" is only an hour and a half and by the time we run home and get back, we lose a lot of time. So I did what any mom who desperately needed this hour and a half without her 3 year old. I took the undies off and he went commando that afternoon. I rolled up the damp underwear, tucked them in my pocket, and nonchalantly headed to my car. Problem solved.
2. Minutes before the school bus pulled up the other day, Noah went into the bathroom. He comes out and says he doesn't think he'll be able to ride the bus and when I asked why, he said he was afraid to tell me. I said it was okay, I wouldn't get mad. He replied that when he went to go to the bathroom he didn't realize his penis was pointing up instead of down and he got pee on his clothes. What??? How do you NOT realize it's pointing north instead of south?? How many times have I begged my boys to actually hold onto the hose when they aim?? I just told him accidents happen, he changed clothes, and I drove him to school.

I have many more stories like these, but I'm sure you get the point.

Being the only female in a house of 5, my boys aren't exposed to a lot of girliness. So when we visit friends and family with little girls, they are in bliss to be surrounded with pink, and dollies, and dress up clothes, etc. Sheesh, I almost feel guilty for depriving them. Sure we have dress up clothes, but not tutus, princess dresses, heels, lace and that fun stuff. Aiden's latest is having to carry one of my purses around with him. I'm trying to say yes more so that when I say no, it carries more weight. I tend to say no to things that annoy me or I don't have time for etc, but I'm learning to say no only when I have to. If he wants to wear his brown boots with his sweat pants, it doesn't hurt anything, he just looks like a dork right? So yesterday when we took Noah to the dr and went to the grocery store to get his prescription, I conceded and let Aiden take "his" red purse with him. At least it matched his red and blue coat right???

I've always said God gave me all boys to toughen me up a bit as I am a wimp about a lot of things. But I've also learned so much more about them and myself. I'm also much more nonchalant about a lot of things. Boys climbing up the door jambs??? See it every day. Pillow pit with all the cushions on the couch?? Don't you do that?? With the right imagination, anything can be used as a light saber, even a toothbrush case. Needing only mommy when hurt or sick??? Perfect!


Kat said...

Oh, I hear ya on that! Especially the peeing thing. Man! You'd think it would be fun to aim, but NOoooooo. ;)
I never expected to have so many boys, but it sure is fun. :)

Beth said...

If little boys could aim, we wouldn't be in dire need of a bathroom renovation to tear out the lovely carpet left by the previous owners:)

Aunt Cindy said...

Yep, sounds like a house of boys to me. I once caught one of mine(to remain nameless here) peeing from the bathroom DOORWAY, leaning backward so he wouldn't miss a second of the cartoon he was watching. Pretty sure NONE of that pee hit the 'mark'. Another one once walked into my bedroom late at night and actually peed on my bedroom door---hopefully he was sleepwalking, but with boys, you never know. I kept underwear in a pocket in our van for years after the potty training years, and we all laughed when we traded off the last van and I actually discovered a pair was still there and our youngest was in High School.

So...not really so weird...Your life with little men sounds just about right.

Shasta said...

I loved reading this and I can relate to it all soooo much!! We're a family of 5 with 3 little boys as well. Being a the only girl, well, you learn a lot about boys! There are some questions they have about those parts that I can't even answer! Dad?? Boys make life so much fun, I get to go through everything now that I missed out on because I was a little girl! haha

Jer said...

You had me laughing out loud, Kelly. And I'm at work. Had to explain what I was laughing at. Love ya, Aunt Jer

Controlling My Chaos said...

I cannot even imagine living in a house with three boys and one man. Although if it makes you feel any better, we have pee all over our toilet seats too and I have no idea why. Girls have absolutely no excuse for missing. I keep Clorox wipes in the bathroom though and make them clean up their own messes. Ick.

Amy said...

So cute..wait until you have a teenager and you get questions do I make it go down, won't stop sticking up!